Guidelines for Resolving Grievances
Calvary Church is committed to:
· Journeying together as imperfect but beloved and repentant sons and daughters of God.
· Providing a safe environment in which every person is treated with honour and respect and provided with compassionate care as needed.
· Ensuring by God’s grace that grievances and disputes are addressed promptly and resolved fairly.
· Endeavouring as a community to grow into the likeness of Christ by the power of the Spirit by walking in daily repentance, obedience, and love.
This document provides guidelines to serve members and leaders of Calvary in pursuing these goals. It is written with special attention to cases in which a member brings a grievance against a leader. But these guidelines may be adapted to address other situations as needed.
I. Basic Principles
1. Love God by submitting to the Lordship of Christ and following the desires of the Holy Spirit instead of our natural (fleshly) inclinations (Gal 5:16–25), recognizing that the Holy Spirit’s passion is to glorify God and to foster love and fellowship.
2. Love one another by extending grace and mercy, patiently bearing with the faults and failures of one another, and choosing to honour one another (Col 3:12–17).
3. Members should honour their leaders, practising godly ‘followership’ in Christ. Remember that leaders are God’s gift to serve your welfare (Heb 13:17). By honouring your leaders, you will benefit yourself and the kingdom of God.
4. Leaders should care for members with compassion, humility, and patience as examples to the flock entrusted to their care (Col 3:12; 1 Pet 5:2–3). Remember that Christ laid down his life for these sheep.
5. Human beings are created in God’s image and invested with dignity, yet also sinful. Christians are redeemed but not yet glorified. Consequently, we should view people through these lenses of dignity, depravity, and redemption. That is, we treat them with the dignity of image-bearers but should not be surprised when they sin. Ultimately, we view them in light of the larger story of redemption: What is God doing in this story, and how does this fit into his larger story?
6. Be willing to grieve and to suffer loss as a follower of Jesus. We live in an imperfect world in which others will disappoint us and fail us in various ways. It is better to be sinned against than to commit sin against your brother or sister.
7. As one led by the Holy Spirit, be quick to repent and quick to forgive. But recognize that repentance and forgiveness occur in degrees, and there may be a process of journeying more deeply and honestly in these movements.
8. You, and not someone else, are responsible under God for your choices, and for all that you are and have. Others have a right and a responsibility for their actions, relationships, privileges, and possessions. Avoid expectations and demands to which you have no right. Practice healthy boundaries.
II. Confidentiality and Accountability
In caring for a member, information about the member should be kept confidential unless circumstances demand otherwise.
Possible exceptions:
· Information about a minor in need of protection. Reporting may be required by law. Each situation should be carefully assessed.
· Information about other people’s actions or perceived motives may need to be verified with the person in question. This should be done discreetly and only when deemed necessary to resolve the issue or to respect the dignity of the respondent. Remember that the goal is the healing of the wounded and restoration of the relationship.
· Discreet submission of information to an appropriate authority figure when deemed necessary for resolution.
III. Overview of Procedures (See Matthew 18:15–20)
Whenever possible, the complainant should communicate grievances exclusively and privately to the offending party for the purpose of resolution. It is inappropriate to voice complaints to third parties who are unable to help in the resolution process.
If you are unable to resolve your issue with a fellow member of the church community, involve a mature leader (hereafter called “mediator”) to help in the resolution process. This can be your community group leader (if within your group) or an elder at your discretion. Such help may be requested by either the complainant or the respondent as necessary.
If your grievance is against an elder and you are unable to resolve the issue, or feel psychologically unable to approach that elder, solicit the help of another elder who will help you process the matter and support you in addressing the issue.
In the extraordinary event that you have a serious charge against the elders of Calvary Church and are unable to resolve it with them, acquire the help of the regional leader for Salt & Light.
Where the grievance involves the alleged actions of a respondent, the respondent should have an opportunity to express their view of the incident or situation to the designated mediator.
Respondents should respect the process of mediation and should not directly approach the complainant if this is the express desire of the complainant. The complainant is accountable to the mediator for processing the grief and working toward resolution in a godly manner. The mediator is accountable to the respondent to guide the case toward resolution in a manner that respects the dignity of the respondent.
In the case that there has been a legal offence, consult the elders who will, as appropriate, submit the case to legal authorities.
When desired, the mediator may accompany the complainant in approaching the respondent.
IV. Guidance for the Complainant
We lovingly and gently communicate grievances for the purpose of inviting others to repentance and reconciliation. But note that our sense of grievance or offence may or may not be caused by someone else’s sin. At times, we may be grieved by our unmet expectations without fault in the other person’s actions. In such cases, the solution is not for the other to repent, but for us to relinquish those expectations and misguided grudges. The complainant should prayerfully discern the situation and, as appropriate, humbly and straightforwardly communicate the matter for resolution.
Charges of wrongdoing should be brought forth with an orientation to the future – resolving the conflict and rebuilding the relationship – rather than simply allocating blame without a way forward.
If you feel unable to approach the offender, you should approach an elder or your community group leader if the offence occurred within your group. That elder/leader may, in some circumstances, refer you to another leader to help you process your grievance.
Charges against a pastor or elder should be prayed through and brought forth in a serious and sober manner. Flippant or petty critiques should be avoided.
Examine your heart and take stock of your own errors and wrongdoings, confessing that before the Lord and receiving full forgiveness. Prepare to confess your sins and ask for forgiveness, even if you believe the other was more at fault.
Grieve the hurt and the offence to the best of your ability, determined to accept and embrace the hurt and to bear the loss. To forgive is to cancel the debt and choose not to bring up the issue as a weapon with which to harm the other.
In bringing the grievance to another, we are inviting them to repentance and reconciliation. We are also humbly asking them to acknowledge the wrong and, in so doing, to help us heal.
V. Guidance for the Mediator
The role of the mediator is to help the complainant walk faithfully through the process of grief, forgiveness, and reconciliation and to hold the complainant accountable for this process. Their role is not to prosecute or punish the offender. The mediator should be mature enough to care for the complainant’s wounds without judging the respondent.
Document the grievance in writing, paying special attention to the ‘facts’ presented. These, as with all communication, should be kept confidential and disclosed only as necessary for resolving the case.
Premature assumptions should not be made about where the fault lies. The goal is to facilitate effective communication, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation as appropriate to the situation.
The mediator should notify the respondent that there has been a grievance brought against them without prematurely disclosing unnecessary details. Remember that this can be a difficult process for the respondent as well and care should be taken not to provoke further offence.
The mediator should give opportunity for the respondent to recount the facts from their perspective, and document these in writing. Clarification should especially be sought when doubts arise regarding the integrity of the respondent.
Keeping in mind that each party will have a perspective and that ‘selection’ of facts is unavoidable, the mediator should seek to clarify significant obvious contradictions.
If there are issues that cannot be resolved between the mediator and the respondent, they may enlist the help of another elder.
The mediator should at all times bear in mind the preceding goals and principles and help all parties work toward repentance, healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
VI. Guidance for the Respondent
Charges of wrongdoing should be received seriously and humbly. Elders and leaders should set an example in humility and sobriety out of reverence for Christ and love for the congregation.
Where a leader has been at fault, they should repair their hearts through sincere repentance and confession of sin, and seek reconciliation with the offended party, being confident in the love and full forgiveness that is theirs in Christ.
Leaders should recognize that submitting a grievance can feel vulnerable, and grant members the freedom to process such grievances with an appropriate mediator until they are ready for direct communication.
Leaders should recognize differences in power and navigate accordingly. Power differentials can occur as a result of position, personality, knowledge, skills, or other variables. Cultivate an awareness of the power you wield and compensate with intentional meekness.
Where an accused leader has not actively or passively failed a member, it may still be helpful to ask how the grieved member would have liked to be treated. It can be comforting to have their desires clarified, heard, and acknowledged. This can also open up further insight into the member’s heart that leaders can explore and address as appropriate.
VII. Summary
This document provides the leaders and members of Calvary Church with guidelines for resolving grievances and reconciling relationships for the glory of Christ. Complainants should address respondents directly when possible in light of Matthew 18. When it is necessary to involve a mediator, enlist a mature leader who is committed to treating all parties with respect and dignity and capable of guiding them through the process. All persons involved should aim to communicate honestly and humbly with the intent of resolving the issue and reconciling the relationship. Grievances in the church should be addressed in a manner that is loving, just, and redemptive, out of reverence for God.
– Drafted by Elmer Chen in consultation with the elders of Calvary Church.